How Much of Your Spending Is Just Trying to Feel Something?
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You’ve probably heard the phrase, “Money can’t buy happiness.” And while that’s true in many ways, it’s not the whole story. Sometimes, spending money can make you feel something – excitement, comfort, relief, or even just a quick distraction from a bad day.
But here’s the thing: How often is that spending really about what you’re buying, and how often is it about how it makes you feel in the moment?
It’s easy to get caught in a cycle where your spending habits are reactions to emotions. And that can make it seem like the money is going nowhere, even though it’s flying out of your account.
So, let’s talk about why we spend to feel something, and how to break that habit without feeling deprived.
1. Instant Gratification Feels Good – So We Keep Doing It
Spending money gives an instant hit of dopamine. When we buy something, we get a rush (a quick, fleeting moment of satisfaction). It might be a pair of shoes we’ve been eyeing or a little treat from the store. The problem is, that rush doesn’t last. And when it fades, we find ourselves reaching for more of the same.
This cycle is tempting because it’s easy to justify small purchases as harmless. But before you know it, those small purchases add up – and they’re not giving you lasting happiness.
How to fix it: Start by being aware of your spending triggers. When you feel the urge to buy something just for the rush, pause and ask yourself if it’s what you really need. Sometimes, just acknowledging the feeling can break the pattern.
2. Shopping Can Be a Distraction From Bigger Issues
Sometimes, we spend money to avoid dealing with something that’s bothering us. Stress, frustration, or even boredom can lead to impulse purchases that give us a temporary escape from our emotions. But these distractions rarely solve the real problem, and they usually just lead to buyer’s remorse later on.
How to fix it: Try to identify the root cause of your urge to spend. If you’re stressed, try journaling or meditating instead of reaching for your wallet. If you’re bored, find a hobby that engages you in a more meaningful way. These solutions won’t give you an instant high, but they’ll help you feel better in the long run.
(Related: Download your mindful spending Money Mindset Bullet Journal — it’s your personal spending coach).
3. We Use Spending to Feel Like We Have Control
When life feels chaotic, buying something can give us the illusion of control. It’s a simple action that gives us something tangible in return, even if it’s temporary. But that feeling of control doesn’t last long, and we’re left with more stuff and less peace of mind.
How to fix it: Try focusing on non-material ways to regain control. Setting up a budget or creating a financial plan gives you a sense of control over your money without relying on spending. These actions might not provide instant gratification, but they’ll lead to greater long-term security and peace of mind.
4. Emotional Spending Can Lead to Guilt
After buying something to feel better, many of us experience guilt. We regret the purchase, especially if we realize it was just a quick fix to a deeper issue. That guilt can lead to even more emotional spending, creating a cycle that’s hard to break.
How to fix it: The first step is to stop beating yourself up. Everyone has moments of emotional spending, but what matters is how you respond. Instead of falling into guilt, take note of why you bought something and use it as an opportunity to make a better choice next time.
5. Stop Buying to Fill a Void (Find a Sustainable Way to Feel Fulfilled)
Spending money to feel something can become a pattern that’s hard to break. The real trick is to find healthier ways to fulfill those emotional needs without relying on purchases.
How to fix it: Identify what you’re actually seeking when you spend. Is it connection? Peace? Validation? Once you know what you’re looking for, you can find ways to meet those needs that don’t involve spending money. For example, if you’re seeking connection, try calling a friend or spending time with loved ones. If it’s peace, maybe a walk in nature or some quiet time could do the trick.