Is “More” Making You Miserable?
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Is “More” Making You Miserable?
We live in a world that tells us more is the goal. More money. More followers. More clothes. More trips. More everything. It sounds like freedom, right? But what if chasing “more” is actually what’s draining your joy?
Sometimes the constant need for more doesn’t come from desire, but from discomfort. We think the next purchase, promotion, or goal will finally make us feel “enough.” But what if the peace you’re looking for doesn’t come from adding, but from letting go?
Here are five ways to know if “more” might actually be making you miserable, and how to shift it.
1. You Can’t Sit Still Without Planning the Next Thing
You finally hit a goal. Maybe you saved a few thousand dollars, paid off a card, or got that job you wanted. But instead of celebrating, your mind is already racing to what’s next. You can’t enjoy where you are because you’re too busy chasing the next high.
That’s what happens when you connect your worth to progress. You stop seeing rest as something you’ve earned and start seeing it as wasted time. The problem isn’t that you want more, it’s that you don’t feel okay without it.
If you can’t sit in a moment of peace without planning your next move, you might be stuck in a cycle that’s feeding anxiety instead of growth. Real success should feel grounding, not exhausting.
Here’s a quick reset: try what I call a “contentment pause.” The next time you reach a milestone, don’t move on right away. Take one full day to enjoy it before making another plan. Write down three things that went well and how they made you feel. That’s how you train your brain to celebrate, not sprint. The more you practice contentment, the less pressure you’ll feel to always be in motion.
2. You Buy Things That Impress People Who Don’t Notice
If you’ve ever bought something just so you seem like you’re doing better, you’re not alone. Social media has made it way too easy to feel behind. So we start buying things to prove we’re not.
But here’s the thing. Most people aren’t paying that much attention. And even if they are, their opinions change faster than trends do. When your spending habits are built on wanting approval, you’ll never feel satisfied because approval isn’t permanent.
Ask yourself who you’re really trying to impress. Would you still want that new car or designer bag if no one saw it? If not, it might be time to stop buying for others and start spending for yourself.
A good practice is to pause before every nonessential purchase and ask two questions: Do I need this, or do I want to be seen with it? and How long will this make me happy? You’ll be surprised at how often the answer reveals a hidden motive.
Try a “visibility detox,” too, and unfollow accounts that trigger comparison and spend a few weeks focusing on what you already own. You might rediscover things you forgot you liked, and your bank account will thank you.
(Related: Download your mindful spending Money Mindset Bullet Journal — it’s your personal spending coach).
3. You Keep Upgrading But Still Feel Empty
You’ve upgraded your phone, your apartment, your wardrobe. Yet somehow, the excitement fades faster each time. That’s because when you use “new” to fix “unhappy,” it’s only a short-term fix.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting nice things. But if upgrades are the only way you feel good, you’ll always need another one. It’s like trying to fill a bucket that’s got a hole in it.
Take a step back and notice what actually brings you peace. Maybe it’s walking outside. Maybe it’s dinner with people who make you laugh. The moment you start chasing experiences instead of things, that empty feeling starts to shrink.
If you’ve fallen into the upgrade trap, try replacing one “want” purchase with an experience purchase. Instead of upgrading your phone, spend that money on a weekend away or a cooking class. You’ll find that experiences give longer-lasting happiness because they create memories, not clutter.
You can also do a 30-day “no upgrade” challenge that involves not replacing anything that still works. It teaches appreciation and helps you separate true needs from emotional impulses.
4. You’re Always Comparing
Comparison turns contentment into competition. You could be doing perfectly fine until you see someone doing “better.” Then suddenly your own progress doesn’t feel good enough.
But what if you stopped seeing life as a race? Everyone’s path has different timing, different lessons, and different blessings. You can’t measure your journey with someone else’s ruler.
When you’re focused on your own lane, you start noticing things you used to overlook. You feel proud of small wins. You enjoy what you have because you’re not constantly questioning if it’s “enough.”
To stop the comparison spiral, try replacing envy with curiosity. Instead of thinking, “Why not me?” ask, “What can I learn from this?” That shift turns jealousy into inspiration. You can also track your own growth. Keep a “progress list” of things you’ve improved at over the last six months. Seeing your own journey on paper reminds you that you’re moving forward, even if it’s not flashy.
5. You’re Never Grateful for What You Have
Gratitude isn’t just saying thank you. It’s being aware that what you have now was once what you prayed for. When you lose that awareness, you start living like you’re always behind.
If you can’t look around and name three things you’re thankful for right now, it might be a sign that “more” has taken over your mindset. Gratitude helps you feel full even when your plate isn’t overflowing.
Start small. Write down one thing that made your day easier. One thing that made you smile. One thing you’d miss if it disappeared. Gratitude doesn’t stop you from wanting more, it just helps you enjoy what’s already here.
If journaling feels like a chore, try a “verbal gratitude check.” At the end of the day, say out loud one thing that went right, even if it’s small. You can do it while brushing your teeth or driving home. Over time, it becomes second nature to notice what’s working instead of what’s missing.
Gratitude isn’t about pretending everything’s perfect. It’s about remembering that even on hard days, there’s something worth holding onto.